Comic Book Journal

Sometimes in life things don’t always work out the way we intend for them to. There are always ironies a plenty. For example, Brittney Spear mother is writing a parenting book. Bad idea. Publishers have bad ideas about comic books too, so we’re going to take a walk down memory lane to the top five failed plotlines in comics.

1. The Spider-Clone Saga: I’m still confused. The Spider-Man who’s been through Civil War and now is in the middle of “One More Day,” That’s Peter Parker right? Are we sure? Is the clone of aunt May going to die this time? Oh, the drama! Despite it’s complete and utter failure to accomplish anything remote resembling a sensible plot, it is sort of amusing if you flip through the pages really fast while listening to Eminem’s “Real Slim Shady.” I was easily amused for about 30 seconds.

2. The Death of Superman: Come on. We all knew that the Man of Steel wouldn’t stay dead long. It proved to be a sad day in America when Doomsday ended the life of our collective favorite Boy Scout. Or should I say a marketing team attempted to destroy an American icon. The Funeral for a Friend aftermath proved to be run-of-the mill, and I couldn’t even muster up any sympathy for Lois and her tears, knowing Supes would be flying around well in no time. That storyline tried to hard to be poignant and felt lifeless and forced. Then there was the different “versions” of Superman. Please….Steel…come on, can anyone say, Cyborg reincarnated.

3. Knightfall: They broke Batman’s back. I couldn’t believe it when it happened. A steroid-infested pro wrestler wannabe broke Batman’s back when he had survived the Joker, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Mister Freeze, and countless Gothan thugs. Other than the death of Superman, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more shameless sales tactic.

4. The Death of Captain America: Despite being set in the “Civil War,” world, and the one “shocking” event to boost sales of the crossover, the storyline wasn’t all too bad. Why’s it on this list. All of the plot, all of the drama, goes out the window as respectable in my book when I saw how the Captain went down. He went down by a sniper. Pathetic.

5. Captain Carrot and the Amazing Zoo Crew: The title of the book itself is self-explanatory. The entire series was a failed plotline and is just plain goofy.